How not to flop during the date with a woman

Before the date (especially, if it is the first one) males try to build a kind of a strategy upon which they act and which (in case of success, of course) finishes in bed. But if something goes wrong, we are likely to feel awkward, at a loss and our bravado disappears. Mind, that women are more sensible in this matter and feel everything we have only thought about. Women are usually far from being naïve, that is to say were not born yesterday and know perfectly well what your major intention is! So be careful, unless you are not afraid of spoiling everything from the very start.

Infect her with your positive attitude and optimism! Smile and show that you really enjoy her company. If you start complaining, consider your relation to be over. You may get her compassion, but nothing more! Make her laugh, make her be interested in your personality come wind, come weather.

Don’t be afraid to be rejected and if it happens, don’t concentrate on this small failure – consider it as the next step on the way to your victory and never give up. Let’s say, you asked for her telephone number and she refused. One can say, “Oh, ok, it was nice talking to you” and leave at once. But you not only have to stay, but you shouldn’t show any bitterness or disappointment, pretend you simply don’t care whether you get this number or not, continue your talk as if nothing had happened and, believe me, you are sure to get the number in the end!!!

Another example: you tried to kiss her, but she didn’t let you. The most common reactions of a man are, “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything of the kind” or sitting in silence creating awkward situation. The phrase of this kind won’t do, because you start lying (it is just exactly what you mean!) and sitting and keeping silent you spoil the whole impression of yourself. Distract her attention and continue the date. One battle is lost, but the war is sure to be won by you!

Another important thing you should mind: a woman will never sleep with a man, whom she doesn’t respect. Gain her respect, show yourself not only as a good interlocutor, but also as a good listener, interesting personality and an experienced seducer! Mind that Art of seduction and cross the bridge when you come to it!

Don’t be down in the mouth, if she, after you have seen her home, doesn’t invite you in. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you. Perhaps she wants to take her time and doesn’t want to hurry or simply has monthlies. Do not insist, thank her for the great time you had and ask if you can see her again. She can hardly refuse…

Communication and Emotion in successful Relations

Let’s say that you managed to get acquainted with a nice girl and do not want to spoil these relations. What to do? (Or better to say what not to do?) Successful relations need constant work of both partners, ability to find compromises and the desire to understand our mate. It doesn’t seem to be difficult. Why are then everyday life and routine considered to be enemies of any relation? And what both of you should mind in order to keep that original warmth, tenderness and care?

Being a successful couple means being ready to sacrifice something for the sake of your mate without regretting it; putting your business off in order to listen about her quarrel with a friend etc. Successful relationships are always adding something useful to the union: money knowledge, household skills, setting goals, nurturing new and old friendships, building a beautiful home environment together, spending meals together, adding hobbies or other entertainment to leisure hours, increasing fun, intimacy, and physical love. Unfortunately, it is not at all easy and demands quite a large number of efforts.


One of the most important skills to master is the skill of communication. A friend of mine, who is happy in her family life, when asked about marriage and its success said: “Pretend not to hear something, pretend not to understand something, keep silent when eager to shout…” It really works, as it turns out. Communication can come in many forms, it does not always have to be a verbal exchange. Face expression, gestures, everything that the notion “body language” includes, is communication and it is part and parcel of successful relation. Sometimes one look is enough to break the ice or vice versa one wrong movement and your mate can take it as a personal offence. When it all comes down, it is a matter of upbringing and personal experience. But try to control your body language and the results will not make you wait long!!!

Communication is closely connected with emotions. Emotional, nonverbal communication plays a major role in all your relationships, throughout your life. Even the best verbal communication skills are not enough to create and sustain successful relationships. Without the ability to communicate emotion, it’s impossible to build or maintain healthy relationships, because the communication of emotions establishes the guideline that sustains all relationships. If you give emotional, warm, sincere emotions, you are sure to get even more back. So don’t be lazy and exercise positive attitude and optimistic approach!

Pluses and minuses of online dating

Today more and more people give preference to online dating. On one end of the spectrum, it’s really convenient, ‘cause you can easily choose the person you are interested in taking into account all necessary parameters like weight, height, zodiacal sign, religion, attitude to having children etc. You just choose these parameters and then find one or several potential dates. More than that while trying to find somebody through online web sites you can (and you should!) express yourself in full! Be honest and write not only about your virtues but also about your drawbacks. There are no ideal people and every female is well aware of this fact, sometimes even more than males. Don’t try to present yourself as Arnold Schwarzenegger being in reality closer to Jim Carrey. Not everybody likes muscles – somebody prefers good sense of humor and ability to be life and soul of the party. But what all women are sure to despise is lie. It is lie that they’ll never forget. If you start your relations (even online) from lie, they are doomed to failure from the very start.

There’s still a potential danger of being cheated by other people who at first site meet all your demands, but turn out to be maniacs, unbalanced people or people with some deviations in their psyche. Learn your date before giving her your e-mail address or some other details of your personal life. There’s another pitfall here. With the increase of online dating sites, there increased the number of swindles who make men get interested in them, tell tearful stories about sick parents, children or serious failure in life…They do their best to move you to pity, and you are ready to send them a large sum of money for “improving their position in life”. Do not let anybody trample upon you! And if you help somebody, be sure on what she (or anybody else) is going to spend your money. Otherwise you are risking to hear anything not only about “improved position in life” but also about the person who needed this improvement so badly!

These are the most important things you should mind while giving preference to online dating. If it so popular, why not trying your hand at it? There’s a number of examples when people got acquainted online, communicated, met and developed their relations. Online dating is also an excellent means of finding new friends and acquaintances. Be on your guard and control the situation unless you know the person well enough and can rely on her.

Casanova’s followers

Have you ever heard a notion “art of seduction”? Sure you did. Everybody knows the legendary Casanova and his unique ways of alluring women no female could resist. You are convinced that because of your bad eye-sight or overweight your chances for becoming one are miserable? Cannot agree. As it has already been mentioned, be yourself and mind the following information.

Reality. It can hardly be the best variant to start the relationship with a lie. If you lie once, you’ll have to lie twice and gradually you’ll hardly be able to say reality from lie. Besides it’s really difficult to lie all the time, remembering what was the first and the last your lie and how to react in this or that situation. In any case sooner or later you are likely to get caught and be tortured by numerous reproaches and oceans of tears. Mind that people like us and care for us for what we are, that’s why there’s no need to pretend trying to give weight to your personality. Finally it will bring you only problems.

Interests. Each person is sure to have some interests or hobbies. You are not an exception here, are you? If your interests are limited to cars or different types of weapon, or politics, it will be rather difficult for you to find common ground with a lady. In case you have nothing to say at least listen attentively without staring at her boosts and try to put forward at least one clever pr original remark. Let women justify their right to be chatterboxes and give them an opportunity to talk. Don’t blow it and manage to turn the conversation into that sphere where you won’t feel like fish out of water.

Health. It’s an open secret that choosing a partner women tend to concentrate on him as on the potential father of their children, thus, on the optimum reproductive abilities and features. Correspond! And for love or money smell good. You’d agree that nothing deters women as much as your (better to say somebody else’s) bad smell.

Buoyancy. Set your mind to positive. Remember, that positive always attracts positive. In all meanings. Don’t overindulge in this, ‘cause a man with a permanent idiotic smile is likely to trigger off only bewilderment and surprise.

Fairness. Treat your better half or girlfriend not as a maid but as an individuality with her own points of view and perception of the world. Even if she cooks worse than your mother don’t repeat it twenty times a day, otherwise you are risking starting cooking for yourself! At the other extreme, do not put her on some Madonna pedestal. She is sure to have her own self worth loving, respecting and caring for.

These are universal tips of advice in the matter of seduction. Women are looking forward to being allured. The main thing is to know how to do it without vulgarity and insistence. Don’t keep saying uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It can quickly eat away her nerves. Be a strategist and keep to your own strategy!

How to call the Universe for help in love matter?

Having discussed the psychological and chemical causes of love, I believe it’s high time we got to attracting the opposite sex. How to do it and from where to start? Let’s regard everything from the very beginning.

Before searching for any kind of relationships, think what exactly you are looking for: one-time sex (no relations at all), sex from time to time (some image of relations, but preferable for some people), relations in order to kill time (your girl-friend doesn’t have the least inkling about your real motives) or serious relations with the possibility of creating a family.

For the first three cases there hardly can be any pieces of advice: pleasant appearance, the gift of the gab and self-confidence (for the extreme adventures medical certificate is also desirable).

I’d better say a couple of words about the last case when the word “relationships” acquires its original meaning.
So first of all find appropriate time and make a list of two columns: one column – those qualities you’d like to see in your future partner and the other – those qualities you’ll never accept. Try to concentrate only on the inner world of a person; the outer appearance is not so far important. Done? The next step deals with your imagination. Try to visualize your mate as detailed as possible. Think of what you can do together, what activity is likely to bring pleasure to both of you: going on a picnic, romantic dinner etc. By visualizing your future mate, you send some impulses to the Universe and the Universe in its own turn is expected to find you such a person depending on to what extend bright and legible your image is. If it is not clear enough, it’s you to blame if a person met doesn’t correspond to your ideas!

While visualizing your future partner, pay more attention to the inner world; don’t overindulge in creating the image of Penelope Kruz in your mind. Acting in such a way you may simply mislead the Universe. There are many individuals in the world who match your vibrations, and who possess the qualities you desire, but may not exactly match the outer shell you’ve made up in your mind. Thus, you may lose an excellent opportunity to find a suitable partner.

In cause of time you’ll meet women who possess qualities you need but not all. It’s up to you to decide whether it is the woman or not. But do not be in a hurry – it’s a kind of a test. The Universe moves people unconsciously toward each other. When that special one comes into your life, she will be vibrating at the same rate as you and you will have your perfect better half! You just say “Bingo!” and take the bull by the horns!!!
Before starting to think everything over, remember that loving yourself is also very important. Being happy within yourself, you attract others (see “Want to attract love? First learn to love yourself…”).

And don’t be too skeptical about this matter. Nobody knows for sure how the Universe works. Perhaps this scheme is not that senseless – then don’t take your time and start acting! As they say, nothing seek, nothing find!

What has Love to do with Chemistry?

Developing our talk about love, I’d like to scrutinize this very notion. In cause of history, mankind considered the heart to be the center of love. But scientists tell us love is all in our mind and brain. And fueled by chemicals and chemistry. It is believed by almost everyone that true love cannot exist without chemistry.

Several different chemicals take part in the process of falling in love. Some of them (phenylethylamine, dopamine and norepinephrine - chemical cousins of amphetamines) make us feel elated, energized and float on air – be head over heels in love! This is the so called infatuation or “chemistry” – the initial stage of love. It is during this very stage that new lovers can make love for hours and talk all nights long. This is the chemistry or the love sparks wee all are looking forward. Infatuation usually lasts up to 3 years, depending on the individual and circumstances.

Very often physical chemistry can be mistaken for the real thing. At one end of the spectrum the attraction is strong, at the other extreme these are not relationships that have the right elements to grow into happy and satisfying partnerships. Something is missing here…

This “something” is defined as “attachment” or “spiritual affinity” and considered to be the second stage of love (though sometimes can never occur). Endorphins, steadier and more addictive than PEA, influence its behavior. Being attached to each other means connection on a deeper level. It considers feelings of warmth, humor, respect, friendship. They say, one feels contentment while keeping silent in his/her presence. The longer two people have been married, the more likely it is that they’ll stay married.

We may agree or disagree with some of these scientifically proved points, but we have to admit, that these facts are not absolutely senseless. We do feel sexual chemistry or lust at the beginning of our relationships, which gradually ceases giving more space to respect and contentment of being together. On the other hand, love may spread omitting this first stage. There are many examples of couples that from the very start had all the “symptoms” of attachment. Besides, if it is all down to chemistry, why do we always care who becomes our partner? Perhaps, there’s another “chemical” explanation, perhaps, not. It’s a matter of dispute, but personally I’d like to believe that there’s still something in our hearts! Something does have to differ us from animals…

Want to attract love? First learn to love yourself…

I’d like to develop my first theme post to the notion of love, I mean sources and causes of love. Why are some people always in love and don’t know how to get rid of their next admirer and others suffer from everlasting solitude? You say because the first type is better, more self-confident, self-sufficient and attractive? To some extend. But what makes them special??? Loving themselves! That’s it! When person finds something worth loving and admiring within oneself, it’s a sure-fire way of attracting love into his/her life. Men, as well as women, are likely to find lots of drawbacks in their appearance and character. Gradually they work themselves into a pretty state when it suddenly dawns upon them that they have nothing to be loved for!
Nonsense!!!
We are unique, individual and manly! Every woman will be happy to have such a partner or lover! Remember that women like winners and tend to feel sorry about losers. You don’t want to be treated like a silly baby, do you?
When only you start recognizing that there are lots of things in yourself that make women being in raptures (there sure to be some!), this your self love starts sending imperceptible signals to the opposite sex invoking attraction, infatuation, affection and… (who knows, perhaps, it grows into something deeper???)
Learn to be and to love yourself! No one wants to have relations with a complete loser who values nothing in himself and triggers off only pity, compassion and what’s the worth - disgust.
Winners attract winners, success attracts success and on the contrary, anger causes anger, solitude provokes more solitude etc. This list may be endless.
The main idea I (as well as a number of psychologists) want you to realize is that without loving and respecting yourself you cannot expect others to fall in love with you. Be unique, don’t forget the way to the gym, respect yourself for being one and sooner or later love is sure to find way to your heart!

New blog for those who want to change their lives for the better

Hi, guys! I’m Alex Loudermilk and I’m glad to present this new blog devoted to making new acquaintances, all pros and cons of people’s dating online, some interesting and even extraordinary cases of such meetings that later grew into something deeper or simply remained online entertainment. I’d like also to share some sure tips of advice of how to get acquainted with the girl you like or have an unforgettable date even online.
If you find this information interesting, don’t forget to leave your comments and suggestions. And I’ll try to provide you with interesting and useful material about everything connected with women, dating and relations.