What has Love to do with Chemistry?

Developing our talk about love, I’d like to scrutinize this very notion. In cause of history, mankind considered the heart to be the center of love. But scientists tell us love is all in our mind and brain. And fueled by chemicals and chemistry. It is believed by almost everyone that true love cannot exist without chemistry.

Several different chemicals take part in the process of falling in love. Some of them (phenylethylamine, dopamine and norepinephrine - chemical cousins of amphetamines) make us feel elated, energized and float on air – be head over heels in love! This is the so called infatuation or “chemistry” – the initial stage of love. It is during this very stage that new lovers can make love for hours and talk all nights long. This is the chemistry or the love sparks wee all are looking forward. Infatuation usually lasts up to 3 years, depending on the individual and circumstances.

Very often physical chemistry can be mistaken for the real thing. At one end of the spectrum the attraction is strong, at the other extreme these are not relationships that have the right elements to grow into happy and satisfying partnerships. Something is missing here…

This “something” is defined as “attachment” or “spiritual affinity” and considered to be the second stage of love (though sometimes can never occur). Endorphins, steadier and more addictive than PEA, influence its behavior. Being attached to each other means connection on a deeper level. It considers feelings of warmth, humor, respect, friendship. They say, one feels contentment while keeping silent in his/her presence. The longer two people have been married, the more likely it is that they’ll stay married.

We may agree or disagree with some of these scientifically proved points, but we have to admit, that these facts are not absolutely senseless. We do feel sexual chemistry or lust at the beginning of our relationships, which gradually ceases giving more space to respect and contentment of being together. On the other hand, love may spread omitting this first stage. There are many examples of couples that from the very start had all the “symptoms” of attachment. Besides, if it is all down to chemistry, why do we always care who becomes our partner? Perhaps, there’s another “chemical” explanation, perhaps, not. It’s a matter of dispute, but personally I’d like to believe that there’s still something in our hearts! Something does have to differ us from animals…