What do we talk about when we talk about love?

Love, relations, sex, partnership – these are all things we cannot do without. Sometimes we need only sex, but very soon sex without feelings loses its attractiveness and we feel that we need something deeper than only sex; we need some warmth, care, tenderness, eventually we need someone to take care of!

I feel quite at a loss, when I hear some people saying that love doesn’t exist, that it is all down to lust and chemical reactions of our body. We only need sex to be fit and feel like real males-conquerors! Do we???

Lust is considered to be one of deadly things and it is not worth connecting everything with our biological necessity of coupling. Lust does influence our sexual behavior, but I’d rather call it “desire”, “sexual attraction” or simply but correctly “sexuality”.

Bare sex doesn’t distinguish us from animals. Animals in their turn do not couple with anybody either! But we very often do! Perhaps, someone will find this parallel offensive, but I only write what I consider to be reality and our every day experience.

I do not mean to offend anybody, but favor that point of view, that those males who are having sex nights and days and regard every female as the next object of their sexual aggression, are rather unhappy inside and try to hide that under the guise of a constant lover. An acquaintance of mine keeps to this strategy in life and considers that all women want him. In his turn he is ready to satisfy them (health permitting!) and claims to be happy! But I can hardly believe!

Roots of such behavior go back to the past and are caused by some past actions or events. This my acquaintance always lacked women’s attention and was never popular with them. Now he’s trying to prove everybody and himself that he is not a complete failure, that women are interested in him and want to have sex with him! But I am convinced that deep in his soul he’s unhappy and after he gets tired of this constant process of self-assertion, the only feeling he’s likely to have is bitterness and vacuousness.

Very often under the outer bravado a very touchy soul is hidden. The desire to feel like a peacock and mark your territory will soon pass into the background as soon as you find a deeper aim of your life. Isn’t it food for thought?

Want to attract love? First learn to love yourself…

I’d like to develop my first theme post to the notion of love, I mean sources and causes of love. Why are some people always in love and don’t know how to get rid of their next admirer and others suffer from everlasting solitude? You say because the first type is better, more self-confident, self-sufficient and attractive? To some extend. But what makes them special??? Loving themselves! That’s it! When person finds something worth loving and admiring within oneself, it’s a sure-fire way of attracting love into his/her life. Men, as well as women, are likely to find lots of drawbacks in their appearance and character. Gradually they work themselves into a pretty state when it suddenly dawns upon them that they have nothing to be loved for!
Nonsense!!!
We are unique, individual and manly! Every woman will be happy to have such a partner or lover! Remember that women like winners and tend to feel sorry about losers. You don’t want to be treated like a silly baby, do you?
When only you start recognizing that there are lots of things in yourself that make women being in raptures (there sure to be some!), this your self love starts sending imperceptible signals to the opposite sex invoking attraction, infatuation, affection and… (who knows, perhaps, it grows into something deeper???)
Learn to be and to love yourself! No one wants to have relations with a complete loser who values nothing in himself and triggers off only pity, compassion and what’s the worth - disgust.
Winners attract winners, success attracts success and on the contrary, anger causes anger, solitude provokes more solitude etc. This list may be endless.
The main idea I (as well as a number of psychologists) want you to realize is that without loving and respecting yourself you cannot expect others to fall in love with you. Be unique, don’t forget the way to the gym, respect yourself for being one and sooner or later love is sure to find way to your heart!